So who wants to show up at my house tomorrow morning with coffee and pastries and a copy of assassin’s creed 3 and then just sit quietly on the couch until I need something else?

imbeelzebubswaget:

“this show is terrible” proceeds to marathon it 

joshishollywood:

Is spelling and grammar really that important to you that you have to be a jerk about it and how often do you think it’s resulted in you making fun of someone who has dyslexia or doesn’t speak english as their first language

(via offbeatorbit)

whatafuckinfamilypicture:

Sorry I only date girls who walk into 1st period 15 minutes late with their hands full with their sunglasses on sipping on a Starbucks frapp with their keys making a lot of noise as they sit down.

(via yoseobthepussyteaser-deactivate)

crewnex:

what do i look for in a boyfriend? nutrients. i enter through his bellybutton and burrow deep into his stomach where i live undetected for months until i am strong enough to take over the body. he is mine now. i am him. i am ready.

(via yoseobthepussyteaser-deactivate)

woman laughing alone with oven pizza

magicalfairypussy:

hobbies include: watching men cry, being an internet, sighing

(via yoseobthepussyteaser-deactivate)