muppet-madison:

Stand-up albums:
Aziz Ansari - Intimate Moments for a Sensual Evening
Mike Birbiglia - My Secret Public Journal Live | Sleepwalk with Me
Hannibal Buress - My Name is Hannibal
Louis CK - Chewed Up | Hilarious
Demetri Martin - These Are Jokes
John Mulaney - The Top Part
Patton Oswalt - Feelin’ Kinda Patton | Werewolves and Lollipops | My Weakness is Strong
Michael Showalter - Sandwiches and Cats
Paul F. Tompkins - Impersonal | Freak Wharf

Comedy stylings of the musical variety:
Jimmy Fallon - The Bathroom Wall
The Lonely Island - Incredibad | Turtleneck & Chain
Garfunkel and Oates - All Over Your Face
Flight of the Conchords - Flight of the Conchords

Stand-up specials from people I love and wanted to include in this post:
Zach Galifianakis: Live at the Purple Onion - link
Nick Kroll: Thank You Very Cool - link
The Comedians of Comedy Live at the Troubadour - part 1 | part 2 (featuring a schmorgesborg of people such as Morgan Murphy, Maria Bamford, Seth Galifianakis and oodles of others.)

The thing about glitter is, if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever, because glitter doesn’t go away. Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies.

blahjaneblah:

“And now a selection from the short attention span library. I’d like to read you some stories from the little book of little stories.

One afternoon, a powerful wizard sat down after mixing his most powerful potion, and he realized that wizards never get laid. So he started a band. 

Once upon a time, there was a magical goose who could lay golden eggs. Not knowing that golden eggs were valuable, she went and had her tubes tied. When she found out that the eggs were valuable, she was pissed.

Three bears went to a market. While they were gone, a little girl went into their house. Meanwhile, at the market, people were freaking out because there were three bears there. The bears were shot and killed.

After going through years of litigation to get royalties due to him, the guy who coined the term ‘happily ever after’ lived reasonably well for a while.”

The end.”

                                                                             - Demetri Martin

(via churchinthewild-deactivated2011)